I found myself determined to move forward, to release the past traumas, and forgive it all to set myself free. I wanted to feel a deep sense of trust and clarity- instead I had a heavy load of attachment I was carrying around. I had blame and victimhood dragging me down. I had a deep sense of fear that paralyzed and convinced me I would never make it to the other side. I was lost, yet I wanted so desperately to be found. So, how did I dig my way out of this darkness? I had to love my darkness. I accepted where I was and deeply trusted that I was making progress even in moments that felt like regression. I fell asleep in faith that I did the best I could that day and I woke with gratitude for another chance at it. I had a tribe of support and a nonnegotiable spiritual practice. I desired clarity more than anything in the world and I looked in every corner to find it. Somewhere along the way I created momentum with daily meditations, journaling, and soul strolls. I saw glimpses of happiness and inner-knowing that this unfolding was happening for a reason. I began to understand why the foundation was breaking down and I smiled at the contrast with appreciation. I don’t look back anymore trying to understand or find answers- I see how life gently took my hand and guided me this way. I now see that I was never really lost, I was unearthing the things that needed to be healed.
How would the world look through my eyes if I dropped a little more kindness into it? How would it feel in my body if I told the people I cared for how deeply grateful I am for them, how they make my world brighter and lighter?
Imagine, if I told my past lovers “thank you,” thank you for breaking my heart and leaving me, it made me stronger and seek from within only to discover true love. Would my anxiety disappear if I told my enemies that I can’t hold this story any longer, it’s not my story and we deserve peace.
How would it feel to have longer conversations with my parents, give them my full attention and longer eye contact? If I told my cousins, I miss you, I love our uniqueness and familiar pain traits. What if I let go of all past hurts, mistakes, and shame… what if I took the time and asked those I love, “How can I love you more?”
Of course, the answer is amazing, liberating, deeply connected, in awe, or fucking FREEING! So let's be a little more brave with our love, we surely have little to lose.
Imagine yourself as a container that has been filled more and more over the past few weeks. So much has happened since the last moon cycle, there has been moments of pure joy, love, and deep trust, but negativity seems to slip in and stir my emotions.
I consider this time to see my obstacles as messengers, guiding me in the right direction. Now is a potent time to re-evaluate and trust what we already know to be true in our heart’s intelligence.
As the moon continues to catch less and less light towards her full disappearance at new moon, calling for our attention to re-evaluate, balance, and trust. Consider these journal prompts, to help you shift directions:
What do I choose to release?
Where am I trusting?
Where do I choose to bring my attention to?
What needs to shift?
Join me for our next monthly online New Moon Circle, a space for community, movement, and creativity. Nourishing our mind, body, and soul with a sacred pause to re-connect with ourselves, re-evaluate our situation, and set new intentions using the moon as guidance.
Thank you for being here,
According to A Course in Miracles there are only two emotions- Love and Fear. One is changeless and the other has many forms. Fear is an illusion and very destructive, it creates a story that only you can see. This fear is not real; therefore, it can be dissolved. Fear arises for many reasons; my fear is heavily based on abandonment and loss. When I feel lost or alone, my vision is blocked and I cannot see love guiding me. So, I close my eyes and open my heart, when I listen closely I hear love whisper “surrender.” Surrender into the present moment, the only reality that exist. Stop striving, there is nothing to fix for you are not broken. Surrender into the source of love and peace will scoop you up and hold you. Let go, everything is all right. You are perfect and being guided. Let go and trust.
Take 5 deep breaths, contemplate where are you creating a story based on fear? Can you begin to strip away the layers of fear and surrender into love? Journal how it would feel to let go and surrender- trust you are exactly where you are meant to be.
Little worker bees seek flower to flower to collect sweet nectar, this collaboration not only nourishes their bee community but pollinate seeds that bloom beautiful flowers. It begins with the need to feed, just like we need to feed our soul with love and sweetness. From that need the journey begins and we encounter one flower at a time, eventually fields and fields of flowers appear, traces of gratitude spreads. Gratitude is an action that creates ripples effects of appreciation, and that action could be many things. To a prayer, gift, letter, or ritual, any practice with the intention to express thankfulness softens negativity. For me, gratitude is transforming suffering into self-empowerment. When I look back at moments that I can begin the process of dismantling my story, I begin to feel freer and more liberated. The power of gratitude is love. Start where you are and stay gentle with yourself as you begin the process. Start small to collect the sweet nectar in your life!
What habits are you grateful for learning and practicing?
Think of one person who has sweetened your life this year in some way? What are 3 positive contributions they’re made to your life?
What are you thankful for not having?
Today, I can show my gratitude by….
If you would like to go a little deeper, join my FREE online course Empowered Gratitude with meditation and creativity. Enjoy!
When you are whole, the demands melt away.
I find myself in moments of neediness that what I am truly seeking is to feel complete. But the truth is the I am completely whole there is nothing externally that will complete me. When I sit in stillness, no demands arise. I feel my breath in utter ease, no constrictions and no blockages- simply flow. We cannot demand love nor connection, but we can practice love and connection. We cannot change the past, but we can dissolve the drama for liberation. There is no need to demand and we owe not one demand of others.
Deeper exploration: Create a list of what you are demanding from life, people, and yourself. And consider how it would feel to let it go.
Thank you 2018 for the lessons and adventures you brought me. The sincere connection to each and every student I've encountered, allowing me to fulfill my mission and witness their revolution. Grateful for those specific souls that pulled me to the side and reminded me why I do what I do. Here's to the continuation of learning and teaching the energy of surrendering and rediscovering radical self-love. I am ever so grateful to have my parents alive so I can tell them how much I love them. And YOU- life, source, God, my promise is to practice self observation, to be present for it all, to be more me, and to serve my community. Thank you for this gift of life, love, and creativity. Next year I crave to honor my wild side, to listen more attentively, to keep it simple, to trust, practice devotion, and spread kindness. I look forward to what 2019 has to offer without a doubt that it is all unfolding just how it suppose to be.
What i am seeing?
i am seeing textures and colors speaking.
i am seeing silver skies and chamomile tea.
i am seeing love bloom.
What am i missing?
i am missing the trust of adventure.
i am missing connection to source.
i am missing my light.
What am i choosing?
i am choosing to love you more.
i am choosing to connect in a more honest way.
i am choosing to meditate first.
What am i releasing?
i am releasing old relationships.
i am releasing doubt.
i am releasing ego.
Thank you 2018.
I was born under a new moon on a Thursday, when the sky was dark offering a sweet opportunity to become still, listen, and inspire. Naturally drawn to this introspective energy, it felt only natural to do certain practices and rituals to tune into this mystical moon vibration. I love the concept of a new beginning, a second chance, a fresh start, because this feels human to me, but most importantly it reminds me that I am woman.
Every month, the universe aligns the cosmic energies for us to begin anew, verses a new year designed by human construct. When I began to truly understand the lunar cycle, I couldn’t have been more pleased spiritually, not only did I realize that my intuition kept pulling me towards the moon tides, but that there is truly an ebb and flow happening every 28-days that effects our emotional patterns and energy.
Each moon phase offers a special quality to work with, the most famous is the full moon, infamous for it's glorious energy that brightens our starry nights. But like I said, the new moon feels special and reminds me to slow down and take the time to reflect. There is endless wisdom to be contained, studied, and practiced from the moon, so here are some of my favorite practices to explore if you find yourself seduced by natures rhythms and cycles on this beautiful new moon day.
I hope you have found this journal blog relatable or helpful and if you have any questions or comments please share with me on the comments below. If you would like to experience a moon ritual I am offering an online moon circle to honor every new moon energy.